Trust is a vital part of every relationship, but that’s not the kind I’m referring to here. I’m talking about the trust that strangers shouldn’t have with each other.
Life has taught me not trust people in general, especially those I don’t know. But what I’ve experienced lately is others not immediately trusting me, which I was not prepared for. I think I just assume people will find little to be suspicious in me because I’m just a young, nice and honest girl. But you never know, and I shouldn’t assume that people know that I have good intentions.
I’ve come to appreciate the times when people question me because it holds me accountable and tells me that the other person is making smart choices. If the universe has warned me not to be naive and assume other people always have good intentions towards me, then why should I be let off more easily than them? I need to be treated the same way. The people I’m dealing with should be smart enough to protect themselves from being fucked over, just as I try to. It makes me feel like we’re on level terms and that I’m dealing with a competent person.
I recently lost out on a job because I didn’t sign up to get fingerprinted for a background check early enough. The results would take a week to come back, and I had to be cleared before I started because I was working with students.
Now, at first I was irritated that something I had taken as a formality was going to really screw me over, and I thought my potential employer was being a bit too official. Of course it’s going to offend me that she couldn’t just trust me enough to let me start the job before the results were in. I also didn’t know they took a whole week. Plus I didn’t understand what the problem was because I’m barely older than a teenager and feel like I’m a pretty low risk candidate for having something bad on my record.
But when it came down to it, she had to stick to the rules to protect the teens in her program from a potentially dangerous person. And I respect that, even if it means that she had to deny me the position because she couldn’t verify that I was a safe person. I know that she will do what it takes to protect the kids in that program physically and mentally. She was right to hold me to these standards and I shouldn’t have been so arrogant to assume she should automatically give me a free pass on the rules just because we sort of know each other. She was just doing her job really well.
In another recent experience, I tried to buy a car with a check, and the seller got nervous about it because of the holiday and it taking a while to clear. She made me wait 3 days after I’d paid her to make sure the check went through to drive the car home.
This meant that we had another long day of driving ahead of us because they lived over an hour away, but I respect her caution. She had been through a rough period and just wanted to guarantee that I hadn’t written a bad check. I’m sure people do that kind of thing all the time and get away with it, and she had experienced dealings with those kinds of people in her past.
I’m so innocent that I don’t even think about how easy it is to rob people. And in the end I’m glad that the seller didn’t want to just give her car away without guaranteed money. I hope I would do the same in her spot.
I think it’s naive to assume people will just give me automatic trust, because I’m just human and you never know people until you know them. Even then, just be careful! Especially when it comes to children and money.
I need people to check me to teach me how the world works and to remind me to make sure I don’t come across as untrustworthy in my dealings with people. That being said, I would probably just automatically trust a person like me because I’m naive. But no one can be trusted!